Sunday, January 25, 2009

Here we go again...

Well, akhirnya gw nyerah. Gw yang tadinya niat buat nyimpen buat diri sendiri aja, akhirnya gw nyerah untuk nulis di blog juga. Lega rasanya klo bisa ngungkapin sesuatu walaupun cuman di blog.

Lately, gw nonton film yang genrenya cengeng terus. Mungkin out of 10 last movies that I watched, cuman be kind rewind aja yang tergolong gak cengeng. And yeah, of course we all know why is that.

Naturally, biasanya itu karena lagi ada 'someone' in your life.

It's been a while since the last time that I had the same feeling. Gw pun ngerasa it was just a fling. But then, couple days ago gw lumayan sport jantung juga pas ngeliat sesuatu yang, normally, bikin orang jealous. Panik segala macem, kerasa waktu itu juga. Well, that was then. Gw udah "dapet" klarifikasi about what it was.

It's just one of them. Gw yang tiap hari berdoa buat ketemu dia walaupun cuman sekilas, gw yang suka senyum sendiri when she's around, and of course, nontonin film-film cengeng itu.

Emang you can't really describe what you feel. Gw sendiri bingung gimana cara nulisnya di sini. But it feels so real. Gw kira itu cuman pelampiasan. But damn, pelampiasan never feels that good. Gw yang punya million plans what I am going to say, tiba-tiba speechless pas ada momen berdua.

Gw pun teringet kejadian beberapa hari lalu. Somehow, dia salah nangkep maksud perkataan orang lain yang bilang klo gw bakal balik ke indonesia for good minggu depan. Gw pun senyum-senyum liat dia yang spontan kaget dan langsung klarifikasi dengan nanya ke gw.

Gw jadi inget sama beautiful sadness lagi. hehehe...

Klo kata orang-orang sih,

"You never lose by loving. You always lost by holding back."


Oh well, it doesn't seems like she's a bit interested in me. Maksudnya for more than a friend. As a friend, wah for sure we are friends. Cheering each other all the time.

Bener memang there is nothing to lose klo gw nyoba ngungkapin ke dia, but then, there always is something that you lose. No matter what, it won't be the same anymore.

So, now what? I honestly dont know. We'll see how it goes. Perhaps, enjoy the remaining time that we have.

Klo kata film notebook sih, "Science only goes so far, then comes God". Mungkin berlaku juga buat effort ya. We try as hard as we can, then comes God.

2 comments:

nadira said...

sedihnya..
sabar ya..

*gamakna gini. hahaha.

unknown said...

yah, klo gak susah gini emang idup itu gak seru ya, hehe..